Rate My Cake

An Ode to the Krispy Kreme Doughnut...

My palette lies in darkness until this doughnut I do find,

A vision of glazed perfection, a King amongst its kind.

Encased in a wondrous shell, a sugar coated bliss,

I lay a morsel down upon my tongue

Not one flavour shall I miss.

-

Oh Krispy Kreme how you tempt me, your doughy innards I long to bite,

Your glossy jacket tests my will, resist though I might.

It is no good! I have to have you! And savour this delicious ring,

Who could have known when creating perfections aspect,

What true happiness it would bring.

Caketastrophy

OK so me and my oven have been off the grid for a while now... Mainly because what I can only describe as a higher force is having none of it. I'm jinxed I'm telling you.

Firstly, a new recipe I tried for a complicated Dark Chocolate cake (white mint chocolate icing) which  took 3 hours to bake and an hour to prepare, flew, yes flew from my hands out of the window and narrowly missed my neighbours glass table (see figure). OK, unlucky. I was pretty hacked off I can tell you, and more than a few expletives were voiced at the squirrels happily scoffing the delicious damage. But fine these things happen.

Then I bake Malin from work a lovely birthday cake, chocolate again, decorated it, infuse it with the necessary love. Dandy. Silver balls and a few chocolate lattice is what this needs I think to myself, so I open the cupboard and a whole bag of sugar drops onto Malin's cake. Again, the required expletives voiced. I scrape it back together and hope that no one notices past the glittery candles.

And since these events its just been the odd thing, you know? Forgetting the baking soda, mixing up the plain flour with the self raising, trying to work out why the cake just wont bloody cook. It gets you down. You start thinking well, maybe you've lost your bakery mojo, maybe thats it...

All I need is one stonker of a cake to get me back in the zone. Just one good cake...

Banoffee Cupcakes & Chocolate Vanilla Buns (Wheat-free!)

The last time I made cupcakes I was knee-high to a grasshopper staring up from my mothers side as she prepared her delicious creations. My mother seemed so tall and magical in her yellow apron, and I think the spell that she weaved in the baking of her cupcakes has meant that cupcakes have always seemed too ethereal a challenge for me to take on. Creating something so perfect in miniature... But then the other day my mother told me she was actually only 5ft 6 and so the spell was broken. Sod it I thought. If a woman of quite average proportions can produce perfection, then at my full 5ft 6 and a half I'll have a darn good shot at it. This is the first attempt and yes your eyes did not deceive you, they are entirely wheat-free. I wouldn't want to exclude the allergics from the cupcake joy or Christina would be most unamused.

Pair O'Ducks 22!

Happy Birthday to the Saffage! This creation (pictured here being carved in candle-light) was to mark the anniversary of the birth of the youngest. We went pink and bling with this - which would have been a triumph had I not forgotten to add in the baking powder in my haste to decorate. Never mind, everyone had to say it was lovely out of politeness.

Birthday cake pour moi?!

Power bakeress Ginger Lucy is back with this pretty fly-by-the-seat of your pants effort, and she made it especially for me! I think hitting 27 requires something a bit special and peanut butter and chocolate should fit the bill. I was slightly dubious about bringing said beauty into work, as the current form of my colleagues would indicate that if I'm not quick, the whole thing might get scoffed...

If music be the food of love...

Everyone loves cake,its true. People that dont love cake are just weird. In fact some people love cake so much they write songs about how much they love cake. 7 Seconds of Love have done just that and I think it should be the Rate My Cake theme tune.

Have a listen...

http://www.rathergood.com/cake/

I don't do Birthday cards...

If it was your birthday, which would you prefer? A crappy birthday card or a 3inch thick chocolate cake with chocolate fudge icing? Jamie opted for the latter for his 29th this year and as he is a joy to bake for I was happy to oblige. It took 2 days in the making and unlike the usual efforts would be unveiled in-front of an expectant audience with singing and cheering and traditional celebratory candles, so the pressure was on. But the cake rose to the challenge and luckily turned out quite a good effort. Happy Birthday Jamie! It'll be a three tier-er for your 30th!

The Greatest Evil...

If there's one thing that truly offends my culinary sensibilities, that turns me like Superman in the presence of kryptonite into a force of pure devilment, it's flies. I HATE them, HATE THEM! The moment I hear that continuous maddening buzz my blood boils and such evilness I never believed I had within comes to the fore. The thought of those hideous, germ ridden, dog poo residing, mucus gobbing creatures of pure foulness mounting their air-born attack upon my beautiful, love infused cakes is unbearable. Guard them against such assault I will, the flies will never have my cakes, NEVER!

If Jamie wants brownies...

...Jamie gets brownies. As he so keenly put it I haven't been well on top of the baking recently, so this is my make-up effort. A peculiar breed the brownie, with a rich and fudgey texture, the chemistry of it really shouldn't work. But by Satan's ankle it does.

Inspiration for a cheese-cake?

Last night I hosted a really quite glorious cheese and wine evening for my good friends Lotta and her fella Martin, and Lucy (featured previously on RMC) and her plus one Paul who collects beetles for a job. We're not talking cheese and pineapple on a stick here, or mini babybell accompanied by dairylea slices - we're talking proper hardcore smelly cheese. Talk about a tantalizing and delicious assault upon the taste buds... To name but a few of the specimens:

King of the Hundred's (a truly British cheese but not my fave I have to admit), a posh langres (French I imagine - lush though), some tangy manchego, a soft cheese covered in ash that I cant remember the name of (from Ireland or thereabouts), some lovely goats cheese from Fortnum and Mason no less and loads more.

It was a literal cheese fest as we manged upon crusty bread smothered in the stuff, crunched on celery sticks and downed glasses of the good stuff. Some might say that too much cheese could put you off for quite a while... Balls to that I say. I bloody love it. What a very middle-class evening indeed!

See Lucy's take on cheese: gingerlucy.blogspot.com

Citrus Summer Fantastic

With all this crappy weather, its time to bring a bit of sunshine into the lives of the great British workforce. Think of balmy summer afternoons as you bite into this freshly baked orange cake, sipping iced tea whilst relaxing with the sun on your face. Try to forget that migraine-inducing computer staring at you, as you sink your teeth into a little bit of summer goodness...

Are you more of a lemon cake person? Vote below...

Vote now...

Sister Sponge...

Ah the classic Victoria sponge, enjoyed by royalty and the common man alike. This was a joint effort between siblings - still reveling in the glory that were her polo cup cakes, the wee sis decided to step it up and take on some serious baking. 'Bake off, bake off' I hear some of you cry... Then you clearly are unaware of the intensity of the Clark-sister bond. Together we are stronger.

Chocolate Muffins with White Chocolate Chips Was That?

Indeed it was. First attempt at muffins... They look like muffins, but do they taste like muffins?

Polo Cup Cakes...

Ahh a prodigy... Little sis is getting the baking bug and came up with these delicious creations. A tear came to my eye as I sunk my teeth into this tasty morsel. She done good!

Lucy's Lusciousness...

So I go along to Lucy's Hawaiian party a little bit soggy due to the buckets of rain dumped upon the capital in an attempt to ruin summer for everyone, but lo and behold, sunshine bursts through the clouds to reveal the most delicious pineapple cake, banana and walnut loaf and cup cake extravaganza! Summer was happening in my mouth as I wolfed down the exquisite pineapple cake... Followed by a slice of the banana and finished off by a cup cake. Lucy, you are one hell of a bakeress!

Classic Carrot Cake...

Right, attempt no.2 at a good old carrot cake, cream cheese frosting and all. This one is in memoriam to dear Tommy who is leaving the fold (and will no longer be a regular cake panelist) and moving on to pastures new. This is my last ditch attempt to wave some fresh baking under his nose to test his resolve. We must also pay tribute to the Brumwell nest - Ginger, Sharon, Daisy and Pepsi - for producing the very foundation of this cake. Thanks girls, the eggs are delicious! Anyway, rate that cake...

Cake off?

Good Lord! They say imitation is the greatest form of flattery... And it appears theres a follower in close 'proximity' to Rate My Cake...

http://cakefriday.blogspot.com/